Nia on Demand dropped a new routine this week and I found it just right to start a busy Saturday. “Global Unity” with Kellie Chambers explores form and freedom, and since I was dancing in my playroom, I let loose on the freedom side. Just 25 minutes and I’m good to go for the day.
My playroom is on the second story of the house and today as I was finishing I looked out the window into the river birch tree and saw a dozen bush tits flitting around. Those tiny birds give me great joy.
Searching online for some inspiration from author Kurt Vonnegut, I stumbled on an intriguing website.
But first, here’s the quote — an exchange between characters in the novel “Cat’s Cradle.”
“Self-taught, are you?” Julian Castle asked Newt. “Isn’t everybody?” Newt inquired. “Very good answer.”
I found this in a short list of Vonnegut quotes put together by blogger Todd Smidt whose blog is also today’s Internet rabbit hole for me: I can’t seem to link to it without having its somewhat distracting video running, so search for “Of Whiskey and Words” and you will find it.
It’s mostly a travel blog. But honestly, you have to love a travel blog that diverts to the odd Vonnegut quote. I’d probably sip a little whiskey with that person.
Dancing today at the Just Move studio with Kellie Chambers and a crew of enthusiastic dancers, I was so engaged and happy with the routine and the thought crossed my mind that we all were dancing like no one was watching. I interpret that great phrase as a reminder to inhabit my own joy of movement and not worry about appearances.
But I also realized this: I am watching.
I don’t mean watching myself in the studio mirror but watching in the sense that my body feels the constraints in my thinking. If I’m embarrassed, feel awkward, see my ample thighs in the mirror and wish I were more trim, or any constraining thought, my body reacts to that.
That thinking (the not-doing-it-right or looking-good-enough mentality) triggers a physical scaling back and I stop fully connecting with the rhythm, tones, harmonies and spirit of the music. I’m at the dance, but I’m not in the dance.
This is different from being open to improvement and growth as a dancer. When I’m learning steps, I’m engaged in noticing how I move. I want to stay within my appropriate range of motion. I want to work with the energy constraints of my “today body.” I want to follow the choreographed steps because my brain so loves the repetition in the routines.
I’m learning how to balance, to say yes to the mental corrections that help me follow a new routine, while also loving exactly where I am.