Day 21 of 52 Nia dance challenge
Nia trainer Britta von Tagen is in town this week at Kellie Chamber’s Pleasant Hill studio and led Monday’s class, which was packed. Maybe 30 dancers.
Group energy lifted everyone up thanks to Britta’s focussed and precise training style. I began to be aware of small things — the way I moved fingers and wrists, the way I held the sumo stance, the way the music’s rhythms seemed to link up with my heartbeat, thanks to her.
So, I was surprised when the inner bitch voice showed up mid-routine to remind me of the many many ways I am inadequate to the dance.
Really bitch voice? Today? I’m 21-days into this daily dance commitment. Shouldn’t there be a parade? Balloons? A standing ovation?
Maybe she needs attention. Maybe she has a job in my psyche that hasn’t been sufficiently defined, so she just flails around in a really angry voice. Maybe she could be redeployed to some more useful task.
Perhaps that’s what three weeks of daily dance has given me, a willingness to embrace and consider appropriate uses of the inner bitch. Maybe there’s a dance for that.
Susan Palmer's Exquisite Now 
4 responses to “Really? That voice again?”
Susan, this post has caused me to reflect on that inter critic you call “the bitch voice.” I think that’s something we all have, especially women, especially about our bodies. I learned and witnessed in my Body work practice that negative energies that we are working with and think we have resolved sometimes arise with a new face. This is usually a gift, another chance to shed another layer, a deeper healing. I like that you are acknowledging and working with this inner voice. It’s powerful work! How about renaming her Ms Judge? It is one of my joys as a Nia teacher to witness the growth and change of the people who come to my class, the change in their relationship not only with their body but with all of themselves. You in particular help me refine my teaching with all the feedback that you give. I’m really grateful! I learn so much!!
It is a gift to come back around to it, especially when surrounded by thoughtful teachers who make space for growth and healing. It’s so fine to step into the space you make, which allows good things to happen.
Oh Susan love! My bitch voice has been out in full force the past few days, DEMANDING attention. Oh boy, she has had a lot to say about a LOT!
Thank you for sharing this – it makes my Bitch Voice feel less alone, and hopefully she’ll heal from more community connection 🙂
But also, CONGRATS to YOU! I see you and applaud you! You’re dancing IN SPITE OF Bitch voice, and that’s wonderful. That’s the work right there. Keep going…i’m in awe.
Thank you so much for letting me know I’m not the only one! What a gift dancing is for all the parts of me. Next time Bitch Voice shows up, she can throw the punches!