Susan Palmer's Exquisite Now

Day 33 of 52 Nia dance

Over the course of the last year I began to realize that dance, the way I experienced it in Nia, could be a life practice. The messaging about the feedback loop between physicality and mental processing, that they are not just connected but inextricable from each other, settled in.

Then last April I had the opportunity to be among test dancers as the choreography team of Kellie Chambers and Debbie-Lee Van Ginkel put the finishing touches on their new routine “Alchemy” (which is available online at last!) My growing awareness, coupled with dancing with Kellie and Debbie to this routine completed a transformation for me.

I came home to myself in this very particular routine.

The realizations I came home to:

• I have everything I need, physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually.
• Every day will be a little different. Some days my body is more energized than others. Some days my heart is more open than others. Some days my power is palpable. Some days my femininity is my main thing.
• If I pay attention in the present, I will learn and grow.
• I can let go of expectations and see what happens. I can be relaxed, alert and waiting.
• Joy can’t be ordered up, but it can be whispered to.

This morning, I danced “Alchemy” with Debbie (she, of course, is in Cambodia, so I was dancing with the online routine). As I think I’ve mentioned before, there is something oddly moving about this part of my practice. The teacher, the music and me all together in my playroom. While I love the community of dancers, this experience of being alone with my dance is enriching in ways I haven’t yet found the words to fully articulate.

By life practice, I mean that the internal processes unfolding for me while I’m dancing function well as metaphors for the rest of my day. And I also mean, damn! This feels good. Every time.