Susan Palmer's Exquisite Now

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  • Don’t dis the resolution

    geneva botanical garden

    Look, I’m naturally optimistic on this, but also aligned with the science. That’s s why I engage every year in setting a goal (or two or four). Behavioral science researchers include new year resolutions under the category of the “fresh start effect” as part of a suite of ways to make meaningful changes. Using time markers like the beginning of the year to shift momentum and exchange old patterns for new ones can be an effective strategy, they say.

    I’ve had successes as well as failures in the realm of making resolutions. What I’ve learned is that the fresh start feeling ebbs over time and needs buttressing with additional tactics to maintain the initial momentum. But finishing requires starting, obviously. Might as well start with a tail wind.

    Besides being optimistic, I’m naturally slothful. The part of my brain that wants to achieve often dukes it out with the part aligned with the fine Italian sentiment dolce far niente (how sweet to do nothing).

    That other sweetness, that taste of accomplishing a goal, is also pretty yummy.

  • Patience pays off

    Nia dance, my health and well-being practice, features choreography built around themes anchored by good dance music, not the hits but a soundscape across a range of musical genres, sometimes with lyrics, sometimes without. I’m thinking about a particular song today. It’s not a great song. Very synthy, let’s say, but it’s got a good beat and is easy to dance to. By Michael Bernard Beckwith, titled “U R the Answer,” it is as hokey as you imagine that title to suggest. I don’t care. I’m celebrating it today because embedded in the hypnotic rhythm and relentless positivity is a base line of truth.

    It starts off with “Something wonderful is always on the verge of happening.” But it also bops along to “focus,” to staying the course to get to something wonderful.

    I liked hearing that tune come up periodically this past year, especially on days when something wonderful was absolutely not on the verge of happening. Examples: One of the 35 days when rejection letters for my novel landed in my email.

    This month, something wonderful went from “on the verge” to actually happening. I’m feeling pretty great about finding a publisher for my novel, The Booker Rebellion.

    A small California press with a roster of fine writers picked it up. I’m excited to be among them. Signed the contract today.

    Anybody who’s written a book, revised a book, revised it another 10 times, written a synopsis for the book and a query letter for the book and a one-sentence book pitch and a one paragraph book pitch knows about focus and staying the course.

    After all that, when we get lucky, there’s dancing!

  • Brain as concierge

    Self management is such a mysterious part of living. I wake up thinking of useful things to accomplish. As the day rolls out, my brain offers some other options. Yes, you could vacuum, or study French, or walk three miles or eat a healthy lunch. But also, you could scroll Facebook, read that not very elevating novel, snack on cookies and take a nap.

    Will I exercise some psychological muscle, overcome some momentary inertia, or settle into the easy choice? Mostly it’s a little of both. Maybe I will edit a manuscript, then burn two hours on Facebook. Maybe I will eat celery and carrots. Maybe it will be half a dozen cookies. .

    My brain is always standing by like a concierge. I wonder, do osprey brains tempt them with playing on wind currents instead of fishing or nest building?

    In the having-done category, I derive satisfaction from fulfilling a plan, so why does my brain offer up all these other choices that in fact provide much less satisfaction at the end of the day.

    This is the deepest essence of personal liberty, of free will. Every day, my brain gestures across the myriad possibilities. Which of my selves will do the selecting?