Lately I haven’t wanted to go to dance class. It’s weird. For the last five years, I’ve had this great love affair with Nia, a fusion of dance, martial arts and healing arts. I’ve written it about many times. I believe there is even some bragging in my posts about always wanting to go.
The last few weeks, not so much. I don’t know why this is. Googling the phrase “mental inertia” conjures up dozens of articles about people who want to make changes in their lives but seem stuck and not able to make them. I found nothing about suddenly not wanting to do a thing I have ample proof that I love doing.
Maybe it’s a bit like long-term love affairs. In the beginning it is so fine to be in love, to do things for and with the beloved, who seems perfect in every way. But in committed love relationships, there comes a moment where the loving feeling ebbs. What then? I have learned to evaluate it this way: Sometimes love lifts me up and sometimes I have to expend some mental/emotional energy to sustain love. I have found that effort to be worth making. For me, feelings are like weather. Love always comes back around to buoy me up.
Despite the inner, I-don’t-wanna, I’ve gone to dance anyway, and it’s helped me evaluate my dance practice from a different perspective. I haven’t yet regretted going. I’ve always been glad to be there. That’s a through-line I’m grateful for.
Susan Palmer's Exquisite Now 