Susan Palmer's Exquisite Now

Hey, United States.

Remember how during the War of 1812 you burned Toronto to the ground? No? Don’t remember that? Canadians know this history, how after Toronto (known at time as York) lay in smoking ruin, they headed south and fully torched Washington DC. Yeah. They did.

Remember how at the start of World War II you were all isolationist? Canada recognized the global dangers Germany posed and showed up to fight alongside Britain and France in 1939 a full two years before you. Yeah. They did.

Remember the Korean war in the 1950s? You didn’t want the communism in North Korea spreading south? Canada (and a bunch of other countries) showed up for that fight too. They didn’t leave you to it alone. Yeah. They did.

Oh, and remember Vietnam? That was another U.S. effort to slow the spread of communism. Canada didn’t officially enter that war but you know what? Thirty thousand Canadians — yes, 30,000! — joined the U.S. armed services to help you out. Yeah. They did

Remember Sept. 11, 2001? On that horrific day when terrorists attacked, the U.S. government immediately shut down all airports, and no planes could land. Canada grounded all Canadian flights, but allowed close to 240 US commercial plans to land at Canadian airports from British Columbia to Nova Scotia. This despite the fact that no one really knew that morning whether more planes had been hijacked by terrorists to be used as bombs. Thousands of Americans landed safely and Canada put them up until the U.S. opened its air space many days later. Yeah. They did.

And when you invaded Afghanistan later that year? Canadian forces showed up at your side. Estimates of the financial costs to Canada to help fight terror in that country? Canada spent about $18.5 billion. Yeah. They did.

Your current administration talks about somehow making Canada a 51st state. Yeah. No.

Sure Canadians are nice and they’ve helped you (and the rest of the world) out a lot over the decades. But do not f*** with them.