Nobody likes to be told “no.” It’s a full stop. It’s forbidden territory. It blocks momentum. Ever since I was a toddler, I have rebelled against it.
On the other hand, sometimes getting to “yes,” means wandering through a universe of “no.”
I let my weight creep up over November and December. Since it took me a good 10 months to lose 20 pounds and since I followed that up with another year of keeping the weight off, which is a whole other challenge, I wanted to get rid of it. I thought embracing dry January would bring things back under control. I was wrong. My “today” body looks pretty much like my “six-weeks-ago” body.
And so I ask myself, “Do you want to lose those 5 pounds you found last year? And how about losing another 5 while you are at it?” And my answer is an absolute resounding “Yes!”
But to get there, I must pass through a lengthy “no” gantlet. I must walk through the valley of the shadow of “no.”
OK, enough with the metaphors.
I thought about this while dancing Nia today when instructor Kellie Chambers suggested thinking about what the body needs as we danced “Medicine Woman.”
My past weight loss experience has taught me that I need a certain structure to get through the thicket of food temptations. I know in advance of going to a restaurant that I will limit my menu review to the things I can say yes to — soups, salads, small portions, etc. I know that every day I will urgently want “something” at 3 p.m. that will be easily accessible like a hunk of cheese or a handful of nuts. But I can divert from those high-fat options if I have ready-to-eat veggies in the fridge. I know that if my body signals “hunger,” I need to answer with a healthy-food yes pretty quickly. If I don’t, those pesky brain chemical take over and there’s no negotiating or redirecting that can be done.
Sometimes I can skip lightly over the “no” by pointing myself, with great joy, past the pleasure of taste sensations toward the pleasure of success in sticking to my plan.
Mostly I try to live in my today body. But I know from dance practice that dancing today serves to maintain the strength, flexibility and agility of my tomorrow body. Saying “no” to cake today is saying “yes” to health right now and also tomorrow. Less stress on my joints, less work for my heart, etc.
So here on the front end of February 2025, I’m inviting my mind to help me ponder all the ways that saying “no” to certain foods is fully signifying “yes” in a longer-time-frame context.
Yet another gift of Nia.
Susan Palmer's Exquisite Now 