Dancing today at the Just Move studio with Kellie Chambers and a crew of enthusiastic dancers, I was so engaged and happy with the routine and the thought crossed my mind that we all were dancing like no one was watching. I interpret that great phrase as a reminder to inhabit my own joy of movement and not worry about appearances.
But I also realized this: I am watching.
I don’t mean watching myself in the studio mirror but watching in the sense that my body feels the constraints in my thinking. If I’m embarrassed, feel awkward, see my ample thighs in the mirror and wish I were more trim, or any constraining thought, my body reacts to that.
That thinking (the not-doing-it-right or looking-good-enough mentality) triggers a physical scaling back and I stop fully connecting with the rhythm, tones, harmonies and spirit of the music. I’m at the dance, but I’m not in the dance.
This is different from being open to improvement and growth as a dancer. When I’m learning steps, I’m engaged in noticing how I move. I want to stay within my appropriate range of motion. I want to work with the energy constraints of my “today body.” I want to follow the choreographed steps because my brain so loves the repetition in the routines.
I’m learning how to balance, to say yes to the mental corrections that help me follow a new routine, while also loving exactly where I am.
Susan Palmer's Exquisite Now 